Mixed feelings

Katie has been going to the Carl D. Perkins Vocational Training Center for 2 months now. I am very proud of her for taking such a dramatic step and making huge progress. I praise God that she is happy and flourishing in that environment, I know this is the best possible situation for her. She is making friends , learning life skills and preparing for college. These are steps I never thought she would take 2 years ago. When she first went to CDPVTC , she made us promise to pick her up every weekend so she could come home to visit. Then she decided to come home every other weekend so she could participate in trips and functions like dances and talent shows. Now she has called and said she can't come home for her sister's birthday party this weekend . she has been gone for 3 weeks and she is loving every minute of it. I am torn between being happy for her and missing her terribly. My heartaches but I suppose I'll have to get used to it because the child I have devoted my life to has moved on. Please don't get me wrong I love Ashley just as much. But when you have an autistic child the level of attention and devotion necessary to care and protect that child becomes such a large part of your life. I enjoy everyday with Ashley but I feel like I should be doing more... the constant vigilance is not necessary while Katie is away and I feel like there is a some kind of gap in my day. I miss Katie like crazy and I just don't know how to acclimate to this new situation. Katie has matured by leaps and bounds... she is an adult now and enjoying her independence. I'm afraid that I might drive Ashley berserk trying to find something to do with myself.